Twitter, Part 4: Ain’t No “Follow Back” Girl

As time goes on, I notice that my Twitter stream is, well, out of control. There’s a lot of what we call “white noise” — senseless tweets that aren’t entertaining, informative or relevant to me. When I first started, I considered it proper twettiquette to follow back anyone who followed me, and now, over a year later, I’m following around 500 and at least a 100 (if not more) are people who don’t tweet or who tweet stuff I don’t care about.

Now, each time I notice someone tweeting irrelevant things, I go into their profile and skim through their timeline to see if they ever post things I care to read. If not, I unfollow. Perhaps someday I’ll make the time to sort through all of those people and unfollow as needed.

But what about going forward?

I think my standards for “follow back” are the standards followed by most who’ve been using the service for a while now, but I’ll share them anyway, especially for the new users. If you have recently started an account, are about to, or have considered it, you may want to keep these things in mind before your stream becomes impossible to weed through.

1)  I never follow someone who’s following way more users than are following them back. Typically that’s a good indication that they’re advertising or spamming and not interested in developing meaningful relationships or gaining useful feedback. (Exception: If it’s a business or a celebrity that I’m truly interested in.)

2)  I never follow someone who writes tweets like they’re Facebook updates. If I open up a timeline to read a list of “is going to make dinner” and “is heading to work,” I know they’re new to the service and not paying attention enough to get it quite yet.  (Exception: If it’s someone I know in real life.)

3)  I never follow someone who tweets completely senseless, irrelevant junk. Again, I don’t care if you’re “going to make dinner” or “heading to work.” And I don’t want to waste space in my feed with those type of tweets. Share relevant info! If you’re making cavatelli for dinner from a new recipe you found at cooks.com, share that. I might care, and even if I don’t, I know others will. If you’re headed to work for your last day, or you’re going to a concert downtown, hey, maybe I’m interested in checking that out. This also goes for people constantly tweeting links to articles. I have an RSS Reader of my own, folks, thanks.

4)  I never follow someone who doesn’t participate in the conversation. If I skim through a tweep’s timeline and don’t see that 1/4 to 1/2 of their tweets are @replies (replying to others), I’m not interested. Twitter is about joining in conversations and connecting/networking with others. It’s a two way street. Not @replying indicates that you’re not listening, so why should others listen to you?

5) Conversely, I never follow someone who ONLY @replies. Please, please add something of value. Spark up your own conversation. Give us some insight on you and your interests, too.

6) I never follow people who brag about their following. If you’re going to tell me how many followers you have, you probably don’t deserve ‘em! Quality over quantity! You should be interested in what people are saying and the communication you’re having, not your numbers.

The most valuable thing about Twitter is that the users decide who they want to listen to. And as a regular user, I only want to follow people who add valuable content at least part of the time. Share your knowledge, your interests. Tell us how you learned to fix a leaky faucet, your favorite cell phone app, some advice your grandma gave you, where there’s a shoe sale, and what’s on special at the diner downtown. And participate!! Please!!

Twitter tidbit revisited, #DMTweetup on the Today Show!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that the Today Show would be filming at one of our Des Moines tweetups. Well, it’s finally aired. The segment is about a friend of mine, Jason, having lost his job and how he received help from the local Twitter community in order to find a new one. Check it out:

http://tinyurl.com/DMTodayShow

Twitter, Part 3: The “Twingo”

As is true of any network or community, Twitter has it’s own “lingo” and users must adapt in order to make the network both a functional community and a searachable resource. I’ve mentioned some in my previous two blog postings, but here’s a list of some more common “twords”:

TWEEPS — Twitter users (sometimes referred to as Tweeple)
TWEETS — Postings on Twitter
TWEETUPS — Meetups of Twitter users in an area (often proceeded with an abbreviation denoting the city in which the tweetup with take place — i.e. dmtweetup for a Des Moines tweetup or atltweetup for an Atlanta tweetup)
TWITTERVERSE/TWITOSPHERE — The Twitter community as a whole
TWITTERATI — The “A-List” Twitter users such as celebs or media
TWITTERHEA — To send many Twitter postings one after another
TWITTIQUETTE — Twitter ettiquette
FAILWHALE — The graphic showing a cartoon whale held up by tiny birds, which is shown when the Twitter service is down (see photo)
FTW — “For the win” (a gaming term)

Some other terms I’ve heard of, but not seen used much:

DWEET — Drunkenly posting to Twitter
ILLTWITERATE — Someone who doesn’t understand Twitter, or uses it improperly
TWAITING — Posting to Twitter while waiting for something
TWEADING — Reading Twitter posts (but not posting)
TWERMIT — A user who doesn’t post often; A lurker
TWITTERFLY — To be a “social butterfly” on Twitter by constantly @replying to others’ postings

Those who’ve meadered through photos of past tweetups on my Flickr and/or Facebook page may notice the “@” symbol before usernames. When replying to someone’s tweet, it will appear like so: @PersonImReplyingTo This is the reply.  This can assist followers of either party to recognize — and then read or ignore — a conversation. Also, if user @PersonImReplyingTo doesn’t happen to see the reply in the real-time feed, he/she can spot it by clicking the “Replies” tab. Over time, the “@” symbol has come to be a standard part of the Twitter username, which also helps distinguish it from, say, someone’s IM screenname.

The “#” symbol is also commonplace on Twitter. Proceeding a word or phrase with this symbol makes it more easily searachable on sites like twemes.com, a site that aggregates all instances of the symbol across the entire public Twitter feed. Area tweetups are typically given the # symbol (ie #dmtweetup) to make it easy for others in the area to keep up with conversations about plans for the event, including postings made by people they may not follow. Additionally, anything that might spark up a group conversation, and incite contribution from people who may not all follow one another, would likely warrant the use of a # symbol. For instance, when I started a conversation about bad first dates, I introduced #badfirstdates and so, as people shared their stories, they included that phrase as well so the conversation be looked at as a whole. Some hashtags are less functional and more humorous. “I’ll be organizing my sock drawer tonight #ihavenolife” or “I talked to a cute girl for 10 minutes before realizing I had gnarly garlic breath #FAIL”  (#FAIL is a very common one!) Current events or things on TV often use this format as well — #idol for people talking about American Idol or #grammys when the awards show aired.

Tweeps also re-post things throughout a day or a few days so that users on at different times may catch wind. This is known as re-tweeting, and those posts begin with “R/T.” This shouldn’t be confused with seconding or agreeing with something another tweep has posted; If one user posts that a concert he is at is really crowded but fun, his company shouldn’t post “R/T @PersonImWith This concert is really crowded but fun” as that information isn’t necessarily relivant to the twitterverse.

Hopefully some of this information is of use to someone reading. I feel strongly about the usefulness of Twitter both as a networking tool, and as a socializing medium. It’s enriched my life in all aspects and I adore it! Please, if you have more tips, follow recs, lingo or just thoughts on the topic, leave comments! And of course, remember to follow me, @lindsayrees.

Twitter tidbit…

Just wanted to quickly make a note that The Today Show (@TodayShow) will be filming at our Tweetup on Monday, March 23rd. If any of my local tweeps are reading this, please make it a point to attend. We’d love to have 100 or more in attendance and show what an awesome Twitter community we’ve got here in DeMo!

Click here for details and to RSVP.

Twitter, Part 2: Knowing who to follow

Once they understand Twitter and are eager to test it out, the first thing friends ask is “who will I follow?”

In my opinion, it’s best to break into the local tweetup community early on. If you were introduced to Twitter by a friend, watch that friend’s feed and follow the users with whom he/she is conversing. From there, you can watch the feeds of those 2nd degree friends and follow those with whom they interact. … And so on.

Additionally, the “search” feature at the bottom of Twitter’s site is helpful in finding people in a specific area (via the “advanced search” option) or those who are tweeting about a specific topic (ex: search for your favorite band, local bar or favorite store). Use this, too, to help find twitter handles for your area television networks, newspapers, businesses, museums and galleries, sports teams, your alma mater.

New users may also want to follow public businesses, organizations, celebrities and media outlets. With that in mind, here’s a list of some well-known, oft-followed tweeps:

• TECH: Leo Laporte (@LeoLaporte), Jason Calacanis (@JasonCalacanis), Chris Pirillo (@ChrisPirillo), WordPress updates (@WordPress), Kevin Rose (@KevinRose)

• POLITICS: Barack Obama (@BarackObama), John McCain (@JohnMcCain), US Government @(USAGov)

• MEDIA: Wallstreet Journal (@WSJ), Around The Horn (@AroundTheHorn), NPR News (@NPRNews), Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton), CNN (@CNN)

• INTERESTING/ENTERTAINING/HELPFUL: The Onion (@TheOnion), Lockergnome Coupons (@CouponGnome), Woot (@Woot), Hot Dogs Ladies (@HotDogsLadies)

• MUSIC CELEBS: Chris Cornell (@ChrisCornell), John Mayer (@JohnCMayer), Dave Matthews (@DaveJMatthews), Taylor Swift (@TaylorSwift13), Pete Wentz (@ztneWeteP), Lily Allen (@LilyRoseAllen), Yoko Ono (@YokoOno), MC Hammer (@MCHammer), Trent Reznor (@Trent_Reznor), Britney Spears (@TheRealBritney), Snoop Doggy Dogg (@SnoopDogg), A Fine Frenzy (@AFineFrenzy), Gavin DeGraw (@GavinDeGraw), Coldplay (@Coldplay)

• FILM/TV CELEBS: William Shatner (@WilliamShatner), Soleil Moon Frye (@MoonFrye), Levar Burton (@LevarBurton), Arnold Schwarzenegger (@Schwarzenegger), Elijah Wood (@ElijahWood), John Cleese (@JohnCleese), Kevin Smith (@ThatKevinSmith), Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane), Ashton Kutcher (@APlusK), Demi Moore (@MrsKutcher), Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeaCrest), Rainn Wilson (@RainnWilson), Jimmy Fallon (@JimmyFallon)

• SPORTS CELEBS: Eli Manning (@EliManning), Lance Armstrong (@LanceArmstrong), Michael Phelps (@Michael_Phelps), Shaquille O’Neal (@THE_REAL_SHAQ)

And new accounts pop up all the time! During the Superbowl, follow @Superbowl. During the Grammy’s, follow @TheGrammys.

While it’s a bad idea to randomly and over-zealously follow tweeps, following is key in realizing Twitter’s full potential. Seek out users who are engaging or share common interests, follow, and if the relationship fails to deliver, unfollow. With time, a valuable community will develop. It does take some effort upfront, but the return is tenfold.

Twitter, Part 1: What is it?

A ton of my friends - primarily those back in the Yorkville/Chicagoland area - have inquired about Twitter after seeing my mentions of it on Facebook, Myspace and even Flickr. What is it? Why bother with it? How is it better than the other, more mainstream social networks?

Well, here it is…

Twitter is a social network and micro-blogging site where users post and read text-based updates. It’s often likened to status updates on Facebook in that users are sharing the answer to the common question, “What are you doing?” Twitter postings, or tweets, are a maximum of 140 characters, which results in an immediate-but-brief collaboration of information.

Tweets may be made through the Twitter website, via text message, or through third-party applications such as Tweetdeck, Twhirl or Twitterfox and they appear immediately on the poster’s homepage and in the stream of anyone following him/her. Users choose whom they follow, and are not obligated to follow whoever follows them. This helps deter spammers, as they’re unlikely to gain or retain many followers if their tweets are all self-promotional.

Twitter’s most unique and valuable feature is its ability to connect people. While sites like Facebook and Myspace are focused on reconnecting people, Twitter is a tool for meeting new people. It has grown into a massive community of like-minded individuals — down the street and around the world — who are all looking to reach out. It’s an amazing resource for job leads, news, gossip, product reviews, new product announcements, general knowledge, and new friendships. It’s been almost a year since I joined Twitter, and in that time I’ve learned about news-worthy happenings before news sources had the story, followed sporting events play-by-play, received weather updates, read reviews on anything from shoes to web apps to movies, heard of jobs and freelance opportunities, scored free tickets to events, won $100 in a trivia contest, participated in many heated discussions, and developed countless meaningful business and personal relationships.

Fortunately for me, Des Moines happens to have a very active and expanding Twitter community.  We get together, somewhat spontaneously, usually at a bar, about once or twice a month. The first  tweetup (meeting of Twitter users) that I attended, around April ‘08, drew 20-30 people. I was pleased to finally meet the people who’d been helping me in my job hunt and keeping me entertained during my unemployment. At our most recent tweetup, we had right around 100 in attendance. And who are all these people? Tweeps seem to share a general interest in technology and/or social media, but come from a wide variety of professions. While I know many tweeting web developers, programmers and graphic designers, I also know a food technician, several radio DJs, a social worker, a lawyer, teachers, writers, someone in the tattoo-ing industry, someone in architecture, realtors, people in financing, musicians, artists, actors/actresses and the list goes on and on. Amazing, open-minded, forward-thinking, fun, fun people!

So, that’s what Twitter is and why I love it. I suppose I should explain some of the Twitter lingo (the “@” and “#” for example), how to find people, who’s out there, and what cool features there are (USPS package tracking, anyone?).

Next time…!

Oh, also, because it’s completely awesome and sums up Twitter really well, I HAVE to pimp this short video: Twitter in Plain English

Ahhh, Gilmore Girls

Next month will be the 2-year anniversary of the demise of Gilmore Girls. (Well, okay, the cancellation of it. Its demise came when the genius who is Amy Sherman-Palladino left, but that’s neither here nor there.) Lately I’ve been re-watching some of the old episodes, and so I thought I might as well share some of my favorite quotes from the series. Enjoy…

And of course, the obvious:
Oy with the poodles already!
Babette ate oatmeal. (printed on a shirt)

And Rory’s graduation speech:
RORY: Headmaster Charleston, faculty members, fellow students, family and friends, welcome. We never thought this day would come. We prayed for its quick delivery, crossed days off our calendars, counted hours, minutes, and seconds, and now that it’s here, I’m sorry it is because it means leaving friends who inspire me and teachers who have been my mentors - so many people who have shaped my life and my fellow students’ lives impermeably and forever. I live in two worlds. One is a world of books. I’ve been a resident of Faulkner’s Yoknapatawpha County, hunted the white whale aboard the Pequod, fought alongside Napoleon, sailed a raft with Huck and Jim, committed absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly, rode a sad train with Anna Karenina, and strolled down Swann’s Way. It’s a rewarding world, but my second one is by far superior. My second one is populated with characters slightly less eccentric but supremely real, made of flesh and bone, full of love, who are my ultimate inspiration for everything. Richard and Emily Gilmore are kind, decent, unfailingly generous people. They are my twin pillars without whom I could not stand. I am proud to be their grandchild. But my ultimate inspiration comes from my best friend, the dazzling woman from whom I received my name and my life’s blood, Lorelai Gilmore. ……….  My mother never gave me any idea that I couldn’t do whatever I wanted to do or be whomever I wanted to be. She filled our house with love and fun and books and music, unflagging in her efforts to give me role models from Jane Austen to Eudora Welty to Patti Smith. As she guided me through these incredible eighteen years, I don’t know if she ever realized that the person I most wanted to be was her.  ……. Thank you, Mom. You are my guidepost for everything.

Because it’s Tuesday.

I came across a piece I wrote in college and thought it might be fun to share it here.

The course I was taking was called “Reading & Writing Sexuality” and was pretty wild. Our textbook was titled “CUNT: A Declaration of Independence.” Our first assignment involved writing about our/a partner’s naked body. This was not a class for the easily-offended or shy folks, that’s for certain. But I ADORED it! Not only did it awaken me to sexuality and sexual power and so on, but it also served as a wonderful opportunity for me to try new styles of writing. Anything from journal-style writing and standard college essay form to prose and poetry was accepted, as long as it was insightful.

Anyway, the assignment here was to imagine our sex lives at age 70, and write about it. Here’s what I came up with….

Because it’s Tuesday.

We dance to songs that
Used to make us
Weep
And weep to songs that
Used to make us
Dance

We read books
To each other
At noon
And take baths
In water that smells of
Plums

We watch birds and
Stars
And we kiss under
Weeping willow trees
Scandalously within the
Shadows

And he pinches me
In all the places
That aren’t so
Sensitive anymore
But I giggle
Just the same

And he touches my hair
And puts his nose
To mine
His skin is loose, warm
Everything so
Familiar

And we sleep with our socks on
Long before it’s time
To sleep
He on top with an old smile
Because my ankles
Are tender now

And I look up
Our eyes fixed
On each other
And I’m so thankful
For Tuesdays
With him

the end.

I suppose it’s time I share the reason behind my blogging absence.

For the past couple of months my relationship had been rocky at best. In early October I  spontaneously flew out to LA for a weekend to try to mend and strengthen things, which seemed to work for a few weeks, only to weaken again in November. Then I went out again for Thanksgiving and while there was some arguing, I felt things were solid and ultimately good. I had fun and thought we shared some intimate moments that brought us far closer than any other point in our past, and closer than I think I’d felt to anyone before.

Then, a few days after I returned home, during a Facebook IM chat, he dumped me. We’d been bickering about Christmas plans. It was important to me that during his 10 days in the midwest, he find the time to meet my family and see my hometown and just generally see my world in the way I’d seen his. But his mom said no. So we argued about this and at some point he just … dumped me. I’ve tried to talk to him, find compromises, make it known that I believe we can work through this, but he won’t take my calls or respond to my messages.

I found out recently that he’d cheated on the woman he was with before me while they were together long distance and this has made me very suspicious that he may have done the same to me. Just a week after dumping me — 2 weeks after I’d been out there — he told me he had a date. That just seems so soon to me that it’s hard to believe there wasn’t someone else all along.

But in all honesty, as angry as I am about all of this, and about the way he did it, the way he won’t speak to me, the secrets he kept, the way he treated me throughout our relationship… despite all of that, I really, really want to see him when he gets back. I guess I just know that he’s never been this mean to my face, so maybe we could actually have a constructive and respectful conversation.

not a rock

I don’t want to say too much because it’s too fresh. Instead, I’m sharing this story.

A philosophy professor stood before his class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he picked up a large empty jar and proceeded to fill it with rocks about 2″ in diameter each.

“Pay attention to the things in life that are critical to your happiness and well-being. Take time to get medical check-ups, play with your children, go for a run, write your partner a letter. There will always be time to go to work, clean the house, or fix the disposal. Take care of the rocks first. Set your priorities. The rest is just pebbles and sand.”