Practice makes perfect

We both had Friday the 18th off. We’d been looking forward to that day off for weeks. We’d daydreamed of spending the day on the couch with the pets, watching Netflix videos and soaking in the warmth of the fireplace all day long.

But that didn’t happen.

Friday morning, after Seth got home from his eye appointment, we headed out on a 2-hour trek to Solon, Iowa, for our pre-marital counseling and wedding rehearsal.

While the night prior we’d stayed up gabbing, our drive was spent mostly in silence, with an occasional audible yawn or grumble about the distance or dreary weather. I worried a bit about how we’d fare when talking to the minister. However, once we were there, we were glad to be out of the car and had no trouble participating in the conversation. Scott reviewed the questions we’d answered via email and talked with us a bit about expectations, adaptation, and so on. He was pleased with our insights and the similarities in our responses, and had very positive things to say about our relationship. Our session was emotional, uplifting and comforting.

After that was complete, we were able to do a brief rehearsal in the sanctuary. Scott let us know what scripture readings he planned to include, where and how we should stand, and so on. Seth even got permission for us to ring the bell at the conclusion of the ceremony, so that will be exciting!

Sometime after 3pm we were heading away from Solon, confident in our plans.  We had one more thing on the to-do list — choosing the restaurant. I’d requested recommendations on Twitter and was told we should check out Iowa River Power in Coralville. After viewing their website, we decided it’d be worth stopping in. We made plans to have dinner there, as it was closed until 5pm.

With almost 2 hours to spare, Seth and I wandered around the Coralville Mall where he picked out some dress pants for the ceremony. Another errand done!

Finally, just after 5pm, we made it to Iowa River Power and sat down to one of the best dinners I’ve ever had. The atmosphere was perfect — slightly upscale but not at all stuffy. Floor-to-ceiling windows provided every table an amazing view of the river and dam that crept right up to the restaurant’s edge. Above us, dim lighting and circling wicker fans. The service was friendly and quick. Seth ordered a sirloin and I had breaded shrimp, and we could not have been more pleased. This place was absolutely perfect for our wedding day; we can’t wait to share it with our family!

Sunday night we spent time online looking at hotels and found a great deal on a nice room in Coralville. So that’s booked, too! … Which means we’re done with the planning!

I can’t even begin to describe how amazing all of this feels. When we told our minister about how quickly and effortlessly this has all come together, he asked us to remember that it’s not just luck or coincidence or effective planning, but rather it’s God’s grace. While I don’t consider myself a terribly religious person, I have to agree — this is all a true blessing and it certainly seems that it’s meant to happen this way.

Come together, Right now

Once we decided we wanted to be married on New Years Day, we realized the courthouses would be closed that day, so we’d need to make alternative plans. I knew a coworker’s father was a minister in town. We also entertained the idea of having a mutual friend become ordained online. But neither option was as appealing as having a legitimate religious leader who actually knew us — even a little bit — perform the ceremony.

After a day or so of brain wracking, and just minutes of actual Googling, I was able to locate and contact the pastor who confirmed me at Bristol United Methodist when I was in 7th grade. Scott is now with a church in Solon, Iowa, about 10 minutes north of Iowa City. Perfect! That’s almost halfway between my family and Seth’s! Hours later, I received a reply from Scott letting us know he was available and willing to help us out with an abbreviated premarital counseling session and a January 1st wedding.

Uh-maze-ing.

So on 1/1/10 we’ll be married at the Solon United Methodist Church with our parents and stepparents present.

That’s right. Just our parents and stepparents. We aren’t including siblings, step-siblings, grandparents, aunts/uncles, cousins and so on. This was – hands down – the most difficult decision we’ve had to make during this whole process. I can’t even begin to explain how much we grappled with this issue. There are so many people who love and support us, and of course we want them there with us on our special day. But with the date coming so soon, and it being so close to the holidays, and the budget being so tight, it simply wasn’t feasible.

So to anyone reading this who may be feeling excluded: please know that this decision was difficult and that it hurts us, too. Honestly.

That said, the whole affair is going to be very simple and low-key, just a step up from a courthouse wedding. There will of course be a religious message and blessing and we’re thankful our parents can be there to support us. It will be personal and special, but not the exciting spectacle most weddings are. That is to come. And that will include everyone! … I’ll blog more about that next time!

“Wow, you don’t hear the word ‘wedlock’ much anymore.”

No, we’re not doing it so soon because of the baby.

Well, at least not entirely.

We’d planned to wait several months, if not a full year, before actually tying the knot. Neither of us was at risk for deportation and our baby was going to be loved and cared for, wedlocked or not.

However, a couple of factors kept nagging at us…

a) Insurance. The idea of me getting on Seth’s insurance plan sooner rather than later presented such a financial benefit that we couldn’t just dismiss it.

b) The birth certificate. We’d already determined the baby would have Seth’s last name. But then someone mentioned, “Wouldn’t it be nice if your whole family had the same last name on that birth certificate?” And um, as a matter of fact, it would.

Neither of these was a necessity. I’ve got insurance. And the name thing — while it would be nice in a Rockwell kind of way, it certainly wasn’t crucial. But they were reasons to bump it up, and we really didn’t have many reasons NOT to.

So there you have it. 1/1/10 it is. Binary (nerdsayay)!

And as an added bonus… there will always be fireworks, champagne and huge parties leading up to our anniversary, and we’ll ALWAYS have it off work!

Engaging

Yes, we’d discussed it. At length. How could we not? We’re 27 and 28, ridiculously happy and — gasp — very pregnant.

It wasn’t in the cards, though. We’ve got debt we should take care of and the books all say that babies cost money, so purchases like a ring and a big hoopla with family and friends just weren’t practical. I’d adjusted to that. And after all these months, “We’ll do it when we’re ready, and we won’t be rushed because of our circumstances” was like an auto-response. No big deal.

On 12/3, a Thursday evening, we had plans to run errands and pick up a few Christmas gifts. When he got home, I stopped doing my work and changed clothes while we talked about all the places we should stop. When we finally headed downstairs, Seth said he’d let the dog out, but then he proceeded to follow closely behind me, past the front door. He was giggling, but I guess I didn’t pay much attention to that. Just short of the kitchen, I swung around and said “I thought you were letting Griffin outside.” He again said he would so I grabbed my bag off the counter and turned back toward the front door, completely oblivious to what was sitting right there. Still giggling, Seth grabbed my shoulders and turned me around to point it out.

At that point, he tells me I repeatedly exclaimed “Are you serious?” and “Are you sure?” and “Oh my God!” … I really don’t remember.

What I do remember is him meekly asking, “Do you want me to get on one knee?” to which I replied, “Ummm.. Yeah!” He did. And after he asked properly, I repeated the above barrage of exclamations.

I’m still in shock. It was so much sooner than I’d expected, and the ring is completely breathtaking. He picked it out by himself and I absolutely adore it.

That night, we went to Jared to talk about lowering the diamond into the setting (it catches on things and I’m afraid I’ll scratch the baby!) and to a nice dinner. I had my first professional manicure done so I could show off my new ring to everyone. Then Seth got a haircut and I returned some things to Target. … Those details might seem completely irrelevant now, but the part I appreciate is that our special night, the one we’ll always remember, was tempered with basic errands. It wasn’t an over-the-top romantic evening during which we gushed about our love for one another. It was a very natural mix of love and practicality — totally us.

Twitter, Part 4: Ain’t No “Follow Back” Girl

As time goes on, I notice that my Twitter stream is, well, out of control. There’s a lot of what we call “white noise” — senseless tweets that aren’t entertaining, informative or relevant to me. When I first started, I considered it proper twettiquette to follow back anyone who followed me, and now, over a year later, I’m following around 500 and at least a 100 (if not more) are people who don’t tweet or who tweet stuff I don’t care about.

Now, each time I notice someone tweeting irrelevant things, I go into their profile and skim through their timeline to see if they ever post things I care to read. If not, I unfollow. Perhaps someday I’ll make the time to sort through all of those people and unfollow as needed.

But what about going forward?

I think my standards for “follow back” are the standards followed by most who’ve been using the service for a while now, but I’ll share them anyway, especially for the new users. If you have recently started an account, are about to, or have considered it, you may want to keep these things in mind before your stream becomes impossible to weed through.

1)  I never follow someone who’s following way more users than are following them back. Typically that’s a good indication that they’re advertising or spamming and not interested in developing meaningful relationships or gaining useful feedback. (Exception: If it’s a business or a celebrity that I’m truly interested in.)

2)  I never follow someone who writes tweets like they’re Facebook updates. If I open up a timeline to read a list of “is going to make dinner” and “is heading to work,” I know they’re new to the service and not paying attention enough to get it quite yet.  (Exception: If it’s someone I know in real life.)

3)  I never follow someone who tweets completely senseless, irrelevant junk. Again, I don’t care if you’re “going to make dinner” or “heading to work.” And I don’t want to waste space in my feed with those type of tweets. Share relevant info! If you’re making cavatelli for dinner from a new recipe you found at cooks.com, share that. I might care, and even if I don’t, I know others will. If you’re headed to work for your last day, or you’re going to a concert downtown, hey, maybe I’m interested in checking that out. This also goes for people constantly tweeting links to articles. I have an RSS Reader of my own, folks, thanks.

4)  I never follow someone who doesn’t participate in the conversation. If I skim through a tweep’s timeline and don’t see that 1/4 to 1/2 of their tweets are @replies (replying to others), I’m not interested. Twitter is about joining in conversations and connecting/networking with others. It’s a two way street. Not @replying indicates that you’re not listening, so why should others listen to you?

5) Conversely, I never follow someone who ONLY @replies. Please, please add something of value. Spark up your own conversation. Give us some insight on you and your interests, too.

6) I never follow people who brag about their following. If you’re going to tell me how many followers you have, you probably don’t deserve ‘em! Quality over quantity! You should be interested in what people are saying and the communication you’re having, not your numbers.

The most valuable thing about Twitter is that the users decide who they want to listen to. And as a regular user, I only want to follow people who add valuable content at least part of the time. Share your knowledge, your interests. Tell us how you learned to fix a leaky faucet, your favorite cell phone app, some advice your grandma gave you, where there’s a shoe sale, and what’s on special at the diner downtown. And participate!! Please!!

Twitter tidbit revisited, #DMTweetup on the Today Show!

I mentioned a few weeks ago that the Today Show would be filming at one of our Des Moines tweetups. Well, it’s finally aired. The segment is about a friend of mine, Jason, having lost his job and how he received help from the local Twitter community in order to find a new one. Check it out:

http://tinyurl.com/DMTodayShow

Twitter, Part 3: The “Twingo”

As is true of any network or community, Twitter has it’s own “lingo” and users must adapt in order to make the network both a functional community and a searachable resource. I’ve mentioned some in my previous two blog postings, but here’s a list of some more common “twords”:

TWEEPS — Twitter users (sometimes referred to as Tweeple)
TWEETS — Postings on Twitter
TWEETUPS — Meetups of Twitter users in an area (often proceeded with an abbreviation denoting the city in which the tweetup with take place — i.e. dmtweetup for a Des Moines tweetup or atltweetup for an Atlanta tweetup)
TWITTERVERSE/TWITOSPHERE — The Twitter community as a whole
TWITTERATI — The “A-List” Twitter users such as celebs or media
TWITTERHEA — To send many Twitter postings one after another
TWITTIQUETTE — Twitter ettiquette
FAILWHALE — The graphic showing a cartoon whale held up by tiny birds, which is shown when the Twitter service is down (see photo)
FTW — “For the win” (a gaming term)

Some other terms I’ve heard of, but not seen used much:

DWEET — Drunkenly posting to Twitter
ILLTWITERATE — Someone who doesn’t understand Twitter, or uses it improperly
TWAITING — Posting to Twitter while waiting for something
TWEADING — Reading Twitter posts (but not posting)
TWERMIT — A user who doesn’t post often; A lurker
TWITTERFLY — To be a “social butterfly” on Twitter by constantly @replying to others’ postings

Those who’ve meadered through photos of past tweetups on my Flickr and/or Facebook page may notice the “@” symbol before usernames. When replying to someone’s tweet, it will appear like so: @PersonImReplyingTo This is the reply.  This can assist followers of either party to recognize — and then read or ignore — a conversation. Also, if user @PersonImReplyingTo doesn’t happen to see the reply in the real-time feed, he/she can spot it by clicking the “Replies” tab. Over time, the “@” symbol has come to be a standard part of the Twitter username, which also helps distinguish it from, say, someone’s IM screenname.

The “#” symbol is also commonplace on Twitter. Proceeding a word or phrase with this symbol makes it more easily searachable on sites like twemes.com, a site that aggregates all instances of the symbol across the entire public Twitter feed. Area tweetups are typically given the # symbol (ie #dmtweetup) to make it easy for others in the area to keep up with conversations about plans for the event, including postings made by people they may not follow. Additionally, anything that might spark up a group conversation, and incite contribution from people who may not all follow one another, would likely warrant the use of a # symbol. For instance, when I started a conversation about bad first dates, I introduced #badfirstdates and so, as people shared their stories, they included that phrase as well so the conversation be looked at as a whole. Some hashtags are less functional and more humorous. “I’ll be organizing my sock drawer tonight #ihavenolife” or “I talked to a cute girl for 10 minutes before realizing I had gnarly garlic breath #FAIL”  (#FAIL is a very common one!) Current events or things on TV often use this format as well — #idol for people talking about American Idol or #grammys when the awards show aired.

Tweeps also re-post things throughout a day or a few days so that users on at different times may catch wind. This is known as re-tweeting, and those posts begin with “R/T.” This shouldn’t be confused with seconding or agreeing with something another tweep has posted; If one user posts that a concert he is at is really crowded but fun, his company shouldn’t post “R/T @PersonImWith This concert is really crowded but fun” as that information isn’t necessarily relivant to the twitterverse.

Hopefully some of this information is of use to someone reading. I feel strongly about the usefulness of Twitter both as a networking tool, and as a socializing medium. It’s enriched my life in all aspects and I adore it! Please, if you have more tips, follow recs, lingo or just thoughts on the topic, leave comments! And of course, remember to follow me, @lindsayrees.

Twitter tidbit…

Just wanted to quickly make a note that The Today Show (@TodayShow) will be filming at our Tweetup on Monday, March 23rd. If any of my local tweeps are reading this, please make it a point to attend. We’d love to have 100 or more in attendance and show what an awesome Twitter community we’ve got here in DeMo!

Click here for details and to RSVP.

Twitter, Part 2: Knowing who to follow

Once they understand Twitter and are eager to test it out, the first thing friends ask is “who will I follow?”

In my opinion, it’s best to break into the local tweetup community early on. If you were introduced to Twitter by a friend, watch that friend’s feed and follow the users with whom he/she is conversing. From there, you can watch the feeds of those 2nd degree friends and follow those with whom they interact. … And so on.

Additionally, the “search” feature at the bottom of Twitter’s site is helpful in finding people in a specific area (via the “advanced search” option) or those who are tweeting about a specific topic (ex: search for your favorite band, local bar or favorite store). Use this, too, to help find twitter handles for your area television networks, newspapers, businesses, museums and galleries, sports teams, your alma mater.

New users may also want to follow public businesses, organizations, celebrities and media outlets. With that in mind, here’s a list of some well-known, oft-followed tweeps:

• TECH: Leo Laporte (@LeoLaporte), Jason Calacanis (@JasonCalacanis), Chris Pirillo (@ChrisPirillo), WordPress updates (@WordPress), Kevin Rose (@KevinRose)

• POLITICS: Barack Obama (@BarackObama), John McCain (@JohnMcCain), US Government @(USAGov)

• MEDIA: Wallstreet Journal (@WSJ), Around The Horn (@AroundTheHorn), NPR News (@NPRNews), Hillary Clinton (@HillaryClinton), CNN (@CNN)

• INTERESTING/ENTERTAINING/HELPFUL: The Onion (@TheOnion), Lockergnome Coupons (@CouponGnome), Woot (@Woot), Hot Dogs Ladies (@HotDogsLadies)

• MUSIC CELEBS: Chris Cornell (@ChrisCornell), John Mayer (@JohnCMayer), Dave Matthews (@DaveJMatthews), Taylor Swift (@TaylorSwift13), Pete Wentz (@ztneWeteP), Lily Allen (@LilyRoseAllen), Yoko Ono (@YokoOno), MC Hammer (@MCHammer), Trent Reznor (@Trent_Reznor), Britney Spears (@TheRealBritney), Snoop Doggy Dogg (@SnoopDogg), A Fine Frenzy (@AFineFrenzy), Gavin DeGraw (@GavinDeGraw), Coldplay (@Coldplay)

• FILM/TV CELEBS: William Shatner (@WilliamShatner), Soleil Moon Frye (@MoonFrye), Levar Burton (@LevarBurton), Arnold Schwarzenegger (@Schwarzenegger), Elijah Wood (@ElijahWood), John Cleese (@JohnCleese), Kevin Smith (@ThatKevinSmith), Seth MacFarlane (@SethMacFarlane), Ashton Kutcher (@APlusK), Demi Moore (@MrsKutcher), Ryan Seacrest (@RyanSeaCrest), Rainn Wilson (@RainnWilson), Jimmy Fallon (@JimmyFallon)

• SPORTS CELEBS: Eli Manning (@EliManning), Lance Armstrong (@LanceArmstrong), Michael Phelps (@Michael_Phelps), Shaquille O’Neal (@THE_REAL_SHAQ)

And new accounts pop up all the time! During the Superbowl, follow @Superbowl. During the Grammy’s, follow @TheGrammys.

While it’s a bad idea to randomly and over-zealously follow tweeps, following is key in realizing Twitter’s full potential. Seek out users who are engaging or share common interests, follow, and if the relationship fails to deliver, unfollow. With time, a valuable community will develop. It does take some effort upfront, but the return is tenfold.

Twitter, Part 1: What is it?

A ton of my friends - primarily those back in the Yorkville/Chicagoland area - have inquired about Twitter after seeing my mentions of it on Facebook, Myspace and even Flickr. What is it? Why bother with it? How is it better than the other, more mainstream social networks?

Well, here it is…

Twitter is a social network and micro-blogging site where users post and read text-based updates. It’s often likened to status updates on Facebook in that users are sharing the answer to the common question, “What are you doing?” Twitter postings, or tweets, are a maximum of 140 characters, which results in an immediate-but-brief collaboration of information.

Tweets may be made through the Twitter website, via text message, or through third-party applications such as Tweetdeck, Twhirl or Twitterfox and they appear immediately on the poster’s homepage and in the stream of anyone following him/her. Users choose whom they follow, and are not obligated to follow whoever follows them. This helps deter spammers, as they’re unlikely to gain or retain many followers if their tweets are all self-promotional.

Twitter’s most unique and valuable feature is its ability to connect people. While sites like Facebook and Myspace are focused on reconnecting people, Twitter is a tool for meeting new people. It has grown into a massive community of like-minded individuals — down the street and around the world — who are all looking to reach out. It’s an amazing resource for job leads, news, gossip, product reviews, new product announcements, general knowledge, and new friendships. It’s been almost a year since I joined Twitter, and in that time I’ve learned about news-worthy happenings before news sources had the story, followed sporting events play-by-play, received weather updates, read reviews on anything from shoes to web apps to movies, heard of jobs and freelance opportunities, scored free tickets to events, won $100 in a trivia contest, participated in many heated discussions, and developed countless meaningful business and personal relationships.

Fortunately for me, Des Moines happens to have a very active and expanding Twitter community.  We get together, somewhat spontaneously, usually at a bar, about once or twice a month. The first  tweetup (meeting of Twitter users) that I attended, around April ‘08, drew 20-30 people. I was pleased to finally meet the people who’d been helping me in my job hunt and keeping me entertained during my unemployment. At our most recent tweetup, we had right around 100 in attendance. And who are all these people? Tweeps seem to share a general interest in technology and/or social media, but come from a wide variety of professions. While I know many tweeting web developers, programmers and graphic designers, I also know a food technician, several radio DJs, a social worker, a lawyer, teachers, writers, someone in the tattoo-ing industry, someone in architecture, realtors, people in financing, musicians, artists, actors/actresses and the list goes on and on. Amazing, open-minded, forward-thinking, fun, fun people!

So, that’s what Twitter is and why I love it. I suppose I should explain some of the Twitter lingo (the “@” and “#” for example), how to find people, who’s out there, and what cool features there are (USPS package tracking, anyone?).

Next time…!

Oh, also, because it’s completely awesome and sums up Twitter really well, I HAVE to pimp this short video: Twitter in Plain English